msc in procrastination and bending deadlines

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Anonymous said:

hi! you use the tag "life's thesis" occasionally and i was wondering if you could elaborate a bit on what it means?


apeirophobia:

ANON IS THIS CHRISTMAS????

i use the tag as a catchall for what is my biggest driving thematic interest re: relationships in fiction, something i called “being and having" (from andre aciman’s gorgeous call me by your name) until in my last year of uni a prof referenced “identification/desire” in passing and after class i staggered up to him and was like “GIVE ME MORE????!!!!!” sadly there isn’t much academic study of it, at least in english lit so the only time i got to talk about it in school was an annotated bibliography i did on erotic triangles.

as the tag suggests i feel like i’ll spend my life working out what exactly it is about identification/desire that does it for me and i’m sure the right academic mentor/partner could help me refine it but basically: people are obsessed with themselves and are attracted to parts of themselves they see in others. when one one or many traits are perceived as shared aka the character “sees their self” in the other, the entire self is projected. the resulting “another me,” “two halves of a whole,” “my perfect mirror,” blurring of identity is deeply interesting and satisfying to me for reasons i’m not even sure of!!! 

the way this manifests/the effect it has on the other varies depending on the character obviously, but often these characters are deeply lonely and have difficulty connecting, they feel completely Other themselves. sometimes they project on the other in a desire to escape the parts of their self they dislike, and sometimes it’s about a narcissist remaking the other in his image. twins often end up being a narrative/visual shorthand for this, for obvious reasons. i’ve also scratched the surface of the inversion of it, “identification/repulsion, ig which would be someone with deep self-loathing who rejects/loathes the other based on perceived shared qualities. that’s even more unformed for me than i/d obviously lol.

the best/fullest example of this recently is of course, The Only Movie in the World, Stoker even if it’s still ultimately about like… the nascence of Evil. the movie that inspired it, Hitchcock’s Shadow of a Doubt is about an unusually close uncle and niece (both called Charlie no less) and Hitchcock does NOT fuck around with the visual mirroring. ISTG if i ever seen the guy from prison break in the street were are gonna have the LONGEST AND MOST IN DEPTH CONVO EVER.

Formative examples from my adolescence: Wuthering Heights, The Dreamers, Fight Club, The Basic Eight, 

jaclcfrost:

there are just people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say and do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine

(via shuoniaiwo)

kirschtein-relatable:

cedrikaprovencher:

landorus:

i feel like ‘restaurant’ shouldnt be spelled like that

les anglophones volent des mots à d’autres langues puis chialent parce qu’ils ne sont pas orthographiés comme ils le voudraient

IM GONNA REBLOG THIS POST UNTIL I DIE IM CRYING 

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bewareofmpreg:

undo (1994), dir. shunji iwai

bewareofmpreg:

undo (1994), dir. shunji iwai

(via yukitae)


Bleak Night

Bleak Night

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Until I started taking my antidepressants, though, I didn’t actually know that I was depressed. I thought the dark staticky corners were part of who I was. It was the same way I felt before I put on my first pair of glasses at age 14 and suddenly realized that trees weren’t green blobs but intricate filigrees of thousands of individual leaves; I hadn’t known, before, that I couldn’t see the leaves, because I didn’t realize that seeing leaves was a possibility at all. And it wasn’t until I started using tools to counterbalance my depression that I even realized there was depression there to need counterbalancing. I had no idea that not everyone felt the gravitational pull of nothingness, the ongoing, slow-as-molasses feeling of melting down into a lump of clay. I had no way of knowing that what I thought were just my ingrained bad habits — not being able to deposit checks on time, not replying to totally pleasant emails for long enough that friendships were ruined, having silent meltdowns over getting dressed in the morning, even not going to the bathroom despite really, really, really having to pee — weren’t actually my habits at all. They were the habits of depression, which whoa, holy shit, it turns out I had a raging case of.

- Not Everyone Feels This Way — The Archipelago — Medium (via brutereason)

(via mnhwan)


그래… 나 괜찮을거야 그냥 시간 좀 줘…Yeah… I’ll be fine, just give me some time…

그래… 나 괜찮을거야 그냥 시간 좀 줘…
Yeah… I’ll be fine, just give me some time…

lucaspsi:

shotarokaneda:

this dog is part husky part lab

the split is straight down the middle, quite literally

image

LOOK AT THIS!!! It looks like two different dogs! She literally got looks from both sides of her parents! JUST IMAGINE HOW HAPPY THEY MUST BE!!!!!

(via jujuseed)

swagbat:

woah, tag your death note spoilers

swagbat:

woah, tag your death note spoilers

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